It’s safe to say that we all have experience of being hung up on past lover. Whether it be a long-departed ex, our childhood sweetheart or that fiery vacation fling with a fleeting lover, most of us can agree that there is still that ‘one’ who we find hard to let go of.
These individuals clearly have a huge impact on our lives. The extent of their significance can even feel bizarre, especially if they blessed our lives very suddenly or only for a brief period of time. As a result, it is sadly inevitable that these noteworthy romances may have to come to an end at some point. Of course, cutting emotional ties with a past relationship and letting go is never easy – in fact, these feelings can often stay with us for many years and can even mould the course of present and future relationships.
However, this does not have to be the end of the story. Looking to tarot can help cast a sense of clarity on future reconciliation with these long-lost romances. The cards may reveal that an ex-boyfriend will soon realise what they were missing, and return baring all of the responsibility and affection that they previously lacked. Or perhaps the spread may indicate that you are soon to realise that you never gave that special individual the chance they truly deserved. All romances are beautiful but reconciling with ‘the one’ is a deeply meaningful and often indescribable experience.
Regardless, we are all aware that sometimes this picture is not quite so perfect. We’ve all been there; we pray and hope that his new lover fails to provide everything that you did for him. We obsess over his social media, scrutinising any suggestion that he may now be involved with someone else. We may even reach out to him with the hopes of igniting that previous spark only to be met with rejection. In these situations, we must take a moment of re-evaluation and ask ourselves, is this really the right path to take?
In some cases, it is not, and tarot can help guide us toward this revelation. Tarot often has a special way of taking the position of that brutally honest friend – just like this friend, the cards have a tendency to ‘tell it how it is’ and are not guaranteed to reveal blissful perfection regarding a situation if the true outcome is not meant to be. All too often we rest our hopes and expectations on reuniting with a previous lover, so when the cards indicate that this is not our true destiny, this can be an unwelcome surprise or even a huge disappointment to those posing the question. Despite this, it is vital to appreciate that the cards are a great way of revealing what is ultimately best for an individual.
Now it is worth understanding that not one single tarot card can perfectly predict the return of a lover, nor can a single card categorically claim that a person will never again be a part of one’s life. What the cards can do, however, is paint a broad picture of the future as each card in a spread bears its own specific pointers and works in harmony alongside the others. Now obviously, we can’t always expect to see the answer we may so desperately desire and a negative spread may feel like the end of the world when hopes and expectations aren’t met. Nonetheless, using tarot to allow a glimpse into the future can grant us the closure required to heal and move on with our love lives. Taking this into account, it is important to understand that what the tarot cards show is to be appreciated as a guide and not feared as a definitive answer to the questions we often have so much resting on. With this in mind, listed below are a few simple tarot spreads and example readings that can be used to shed light onto our relationships with our ex-lovers.
The ‘why did we break up?’ spread:
This spread is useful to help you get to the bottom of why the relationship between you and your ex may have come to an end. Often when one is on the receiving end of a break up, the true reasons for the break up aren’t explicitly outlined by the other party. Your ex may have told a half-truth in order to spare feelings, or you have been completely unknowingly deceived. Whether this is the case or not, this spread is designed to help you get down to the essence of the situation and find greater understanding.
The first step is to shuffle the deck really well, and visualize the relationship that you had with your ex-partner. Picture their face, picture the exact moment of the break up and truly immerse yourself in the feelings that are conjured - as painful as these may be.
Lay down two cards, one above the other. Then lay down two more cards sitting adjacent to the right of these. Their meanings are as follows:
1 - What did I bring to the relationship?
2 - What did they bring to the relationship?
3 - What was the biggest issue?
4 - What lessons can I learn from this?
Take a look at this quick example reading using the spread described above:
Card 1 - The Fool. This card is indicative of new beginnings and journeys into unknown territories. In this position, seeing this card would indicate that you may have rushed into this past relationship without taking caution or advice from those around you.
Card 2 - Seven of Swords - In this position, this card would suggest that your ex was unable to face mounting problems and chose the easy way out rather than attempting to fix the relationship. This card suggests a lot of immaturity on the part of your ex.
Card 3 - Knight of Swords - Similar to the Seven of Swords, this biggest issue in this relationship is hasty decision making and a lack of controlled judgement. While the partnership may have been fiery and exciting while it lasted, this card indicates that it did not bear the facets necessary for longevity.
Card 4 - The Magician - This card suggests that you will have learned very important lessons as a result of this situation. Moving forwards, you will have a heightened sense of self-reliance and feel more confident in who you truly are. The future is bright!
The ‘X’ spread:
This spread is designed to indicate whether or not you may reunite with an ex-lover.
Laid out in an X formation, each of the nine cards has its own story to tell. Their meanings are as follows:
1 - The history of the relationship
2 - Where you are currently
3 - Where your ex is currently
4 - How you truly feel about reuniting with your ex
5 - How your ex truly feels about reuniting with you
6 - What obstacles to reunion there are
7 - What can help you achieve reunion
8 - Factors unknown to you about the relationship
9 - The overall outcome
Remember, if the outcome we are wishing for doesn’t appear, do not despair. Ultimately, we still have autonomy over our own actions and have power to change our paths as we please. This spread is simply a guide to help inform you of extra factors and likely conclusions if the situation was left in its current state.
A simpler form of the ‘X’ spread is as follows;
This spread asks the exact same question, yet only looks to three cards in order to paint the overall picture. As with all ex-lover spreads, it is important to visualize your ex and let the emotions wash over you.
Card 1 - What is the current situation between me and my ex?
Card 2 - Challenges to be faced together
Card 3 - The overall outcome
Take a look at this quick example reading using the spread described above:
Card 1 - The Chariot. This card suggests that while life’s journey is bumpy at times, the outcome is always worthwhile. In this scenario, the same goes for you and your ex, as this card implores the two of you to make amends as you are far better off together.
Card 2 - Four of Pentacles. In this position, this card indicates that finances may be a point of contention in the relationship if it were to rekindle. However, this card also indicates that while money may be causing stress to the two of you, your financial situation is stable and most of these concerns are unfounded.
Card 3 - Judgement. This card suggests breaking free from the past and looking towards a brighter future. You and your ex have made peace with the past and are able to move forwards.
In today’s society where dating is fleeting and new romances can be found at the tips of our fingers, heartbreak and longing feels like a painfully inevitable reality of life. Whilst it is that true these feelings are mostly unavoidable, many believe that tarot is a fantastic way to free us from the past and help us to gain valuable insight into what the future might hold. The cards work beautifully regardless of the outcome they imply – they may suggest that an ex is soon to return to one’s life, or if not, they allow for closure and healing through revealing that this past-lover’s presence is best kept in the past.
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