Failed relationships happen everyday, but if you know the signs a relationship is on the way to failure, sometimes you can prevent it. Find out how to make a relationship last, and whether a relationship is worth saving.
Our relationships define our lives. The people we spend time with make up our days and nights, and all the things we do supports how well we stay together. When you have a great relationship, you want it to last forever, but how can you make a relationship last when it seems to be failing? Join Mysticsense to find out what makes relationships fail and what some of the warning signs are that your relationship is failing. Find out how to make your relationship strong and last longer, and some of the signs that it’s time to walk away.
What is Relationship Failure?
Relationship failure is when a relationship does not work out and you have to end things. It’s something that affects a lot more people than you'd realize. 85% of us will go through a breakup at some point. In the United States alone about half of marriages end in divorce and 2/3 of couples break up within their first six months of becoming first time parents. If you're not married, you're more likely to break up. About 70% of heterosexual unmarried couples have relationship failure within the first year of their relationships.
Your odds of surviving an affair once it’s found out are low. About 85% of couples break up after cheating. Women are twice as likely to start a breakup than a man. Open relationships can cause problems too. A whopping 92% of open marriages fail. An average relationship lasts for about two years and nine months, and plenty of relationships end before. The statistics might seem ugly, but there is more. Read more about relationship failure here. How Many Relationships Fail? 23 Eye-Opening Statistics
Some people don't start questioning what made the relationship fail until after a breakup. That's a mistake. If you start to see the signs before you break up, you might have a chance to fix things. Some people think that relationship failure only happens in romantic relationships, but it can happen to any relationship. Families splinter all the time. Best friends break up. Even workplace relationships can fail. Why do relationships fail, what can make them last, and how do you know when it's time to quit trying and leave? Read on to find out.
Reasons Why Relationships Fail
There's never just one thing that could make a relationship fail. Relationships fail for multiple different reasons. Some of the more common reasons that relationships fail revolve around lifestyle differences, the way partners treat each other, and having different values in life.
Communication Issues
Some people say that good communication is the most important thing in a relationship. How often do you communicate with the person who you love, REALLY communicate? Did you pay more attention to them when you first got together, but now that you” have them” you don't bother like you used to? Did you stop making time to explain things to one another? Do you yell at each other instead of talking things through? Do you forget to tell your partner that you love them, and they matter to you? Effective communication can help to keep you together, and lack of it can break you apart. Your words have power and you can find out why here: Magical Words: The Amazing Power of Words
Trust is Broken
When something happens and you feel like you can't trust someone, it's difficult to move forward with your relationship and stay together. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, of course. Just because there's been a problem doesn't mean you're going to break up. However, as we've already discussed, a relationship is more likely to fail after something like cheating happens. That’s why trust is important in relationships. We feel better when we know they would never do anything to hurt us and they will help us when we need them to. We feel better when we know we can trust them to tell the truth and we can trust them to do the right thing. Trust can be built again and you can learn how to do that here: Learn to Trust Again After Relationships
Incompatibility
Let's be honest. Not everybody is cut out for a relationship with everybody else. Personality differences, lifestyle differences, and differences in beliefs separate us more than most anything. Sometimes, opposites attract, but sometimes too much opposition drives us crazy. If you can't reconcile a lifestyle or agree on anything, it puts a strain on the relationship. We can all compromise, but sometimes compromise isn't enough. If you're incompatible with somebody, your relationship may fail. If you broke up with someone you love due to incompatibility, you might think you'll never fall in love again, but you can. Find out why here: How to Fall in Love Again After Being Hurt
Fights
Some people live for the drama of a conflict and some people aren't happy unless they have it at home. Then there are people who can't stand it and if they are constantly fighting with their loved one they want out of that relationship. Fighting over too many different things can drive you away from the person who you love. There is no end to the things that we can fight about, but how much fighting is tolerable depends on you. Some experts even say that a little bit of fighting is necessary to build a healthy relationship. Read why here: How Often Do Couples Fight in a Healthy Relationship - SimplyTogether
Changes
The longer you are with somebody, the more you both change. You can change so much that your relationship fails. As time goes on we grow, and couples who met while they were partying together may drift apart when one of them stops embracing that lifestyle. If one of you suddenly decides you don't want children and the other still does, that can break you apart. If we change so much that we become too different from one another to harmonize and life together, the relationship can fail. Change isn't all bad though, and you can read about how to make positive changes here: How to Make Positive Changes
Abuse
The relationship between an abuser and the person who they abuse is very complex. The trauma of abuse can cause someone to grow closer to their abuser, but that's not always permanent. Some people get tired of abuse and leave. Even if one person is not abusing the other in a relationship, things like substance abuse can destroy relationships. Abuse is very unhealthy and is not good for cultivating relationships at all. Are you in abusive relationship? Find out the signs of abuse here: Are You Abused? | The Signs You May Be
Financial Issues
Money isn't everything, but when it's lacking it causes stress. This can strain a relationship. Financial issues can even end relationships. One study found that 1/4 of couples say money is their greatest challenge in their relationship. Things like old debt, differences in spending, using money for power, and arguing over whether to help extended family with money causes a lot of problems in relationships. If you're not in agreement about how to spend your money together, it could drive you apart. Find out some tips that investors recommend for combating money woes in a relationship here: Top 6 Marriage-Killing Money Issues
Intimacy Issues
Some people think of intimacy as just being a physical thing, as in sex and affection. Physical intimacy is certainly very important in relationships, but so is emotional intimacy. Feeling close with someone you love physically and emotionally makes your relationship stronger. Without that, you might feel like you don't have a relationship at all. Some people drift apart intimately over time, but some people have intimacy issues in a relationship because of differences in intimacy styles. You can become closer to people, though, and you can read how to grow closer to your siblings here: 11 Ways to be Closer to Your Siblings
Infatuation Disappears
Something big that pushes people apart is time, when it shows that they never actually loved one another, that is. Infatuation is often mistaken for love, and is a quick fascination for someone who you are drawn to, but who don't actually have any love for. Infatuation wears off after a short time, and if you haven't been able to establish a foundation for a relationship after that, quite often, your relationship fails. When infatuation goes away, you might stop hearing from someone completely. Read more reasons about why someone you're interested in isn’t calling: Why Isn’t He Calling Me?
Different Values
If you value different things in life, you might not be able to cultivate a long-term relationship. This can be especially true in romantic relationships. Some people want a partner just for sex, so a relationship with someone who wants to find a partner to have a family with probably won't work out with them. Some people just want to be friends with people who like to party, so a relationship with someone who wants a close best friend probably won't work out. We can't all value exactly the same things, that some differences in values are deal breakers for relationships. How you value your relationship with your parents affects your relationships with other people, especially if you're a mama's boy. Read how to deal with mama's boys here: How to Deal with a Mama’s Boy
What Makes a Relationship Last?
Some people say relationships are either meant to last or they're not, but relationships have to be cultivated. Three main things that will keep your relationship going strong is if you both put a lot of effort into things, you communicate honestly with each other, and you are devoted to the relationship.
Effort
How much time you're willing to put into a relationship decides how strong your relationship will be. If you're not willing to get together, call, or treat the person who you love well, you may as well forget it. If both you and the other person put plenty of effort into the relationship, that's one great way to make sure that things work out.
Honesty
Keeping secrets isn’t a good idea in relationships. Secrets and lies will compromise trust. Hiding money in relationships, sneaking around and being a cheat, and changing plans that involve your partner at the last minute without consulting them are all dishonest things that you should avoid if you want a long-term relationship. Communicate openly and honestly with the people who you love, and it will help your relationships last.
Devotion
Being devoted to one another will help make your relationship stronger. Being devoted in the relationship is shown by how much time you spend with someone, your willingness to do things for them, and whether or not you put them first. Relationships are all about sharing life together and being willing to stick together no matter how difficult things become. You never know what kind of things will go wrong in life but being devoted to making things work out will make your relationship last long,
When Should You Leave?
Plenty of difficulties can be worked through if you and the person you love work together. Not everything can though. How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel and walk away? When you have zero compatibility with one another, you're not both trying, or something is toxic, it's ok to walk away.
When You’re Not Compatible
Compatibility is the natural ability to harmonize. If you and the person you love are constantly at odds, can't agree on anything, and are absolutely miserable because there's constant conflict and tension, you are not compatible. Cutting things off in a situation like this can move you both forward to relationships that you're more comfortable in. It doesn't mean you don't love each other and it doesn't mean that neither of you tried, but an inability to get along can break you apart. It's ok to admit it and walk away when that happens. Read about compatibility for Year of the Rabbit people here: Year of the Rabbit Compatibility
When You’re Not Both Trying
Relationships are a two-way street, which means that both people have to try to make things work. If only one of you is doing this, why continue the effort? Someone who refuses to put effort into a relationship shows that they don't value it. It's not worth your time to work on a relationship that someone else is neglecting. It's ok to walk away if your partner isn't trying.
When Something is Toxic
Things like abuse, constant fights, or resentments that won't go away are toxic and kill relationships. If something is toxic, it's the equivalent of poison. Some things are so bad that nothing will fix them. Once you realize that your relationship has turned toxic it's ok to walk away. You can move forward to healthier relationships. Read about moving forward here: Move Forward or Get Back Together With Someone?
Not every relationship lasts, but just because things seem bad doesn’t mean your relationship will fail. Knowing the signs a relationship is headed for failure will give you the chance to fix things and save the relationship. Then again, not all relationships are worth saving, and knowing the signs of that will help you and your loved one end things and move forward to better relationships. If you really love one another and do all the things you need to do to stay together, your relationship can last for a long time, and maybe even for life. May you enjoy much love, may you and your loved ones live a good life together, and may your relationships be long. So be it.
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