Being cheated on can be the most hurtful experience there is. Find out what to do when the person you love is caught cheating in a relationship with you, the signs it’s happening, and whether or not a cheater always cheats.
Your lover is acting strange. They are leaving home earlier in the day and staying out later. They have lost interest in sex, and you have caught them flirting with other people. Are they cheating? They just might be! Join Mysticsense to find out if your suspicions about cheating are valid, and why people even cheat to begin with. Find out if a cheater is likely to cheat again and exactly what to do when you catch your significant other cheating on you. Cheating hurts, but being cheated on doesn’t make you powerless. Read on to find out more!
What is Cheating?
Cheating, also called infidelity, is when your significant other is romantically involved with someone else, and you don’t know about it. Romantic involvement could include a number of things ranging from flirting to dating. Some people say cheating has to entail sex, but other people disagree. Some people say if you are even looking at other people, that counts as cheating. Is it possible to notice that somebody is attractive without cheating? Noticing someone and actively looking are two different things. If you see someone in public out of the corner of your eye and don’t act on it, that’s not cheating.
Signing up for online dating even if you don’t go on any dates is considered cheating by some people. Some people say looking at nude photos is cheating if your significant other would not like it. Some people say it is “just looking.” If you knew your partner was “just looking” and actively admiring other people without you knowing about it, it might hurt your feelings. It might even make you wonder if they loved you. Cheating or having the “roving eye” is considered a vice by some people and you can learn how to beat your vices here: Understanding Your Vices and Overcoming Them
Why It’s Not Open Relationships
Open relationships are special situations. Both people in the relationship decide together that they will not be monogamous. This can allow open dating or even sex with other people. Some people form what is called “throuples” or relationships that include three people equally involved with each other. Some people don’t open the relationship to more partners but allow sex with other people. Still, everybody is in agreement about everything. Nothing is done without both partner’s knowledge or permission.
How common are open relationships? Psychology Today reports that about 4% of couples are in open relationships. That’s definitely not a majority, but people who were polled that are in non-monogamous relationships reported some surprising things. They reported they are less jealous and have happier marriages than if they were monogamous. They also reported that sex is more satisfying and they share more than just sexual affection with their spouse. Read more about the findings here: Open Relationships Are More Popular Than You Might Think | Psychology Today
Why Do People Cheat?
People may list a variety of different reasons why they say they cheat. Some say they are bored in their relationship or no longer find their partner attractive. Others say they feel neglected sexually or no longer emotionally connected to their partner. Some people say they cheat because their partner “let themselves go” or they made a mistake marrying their spouse but can’t get out of the marriage. The truth is, everybody who cheats does so for one reason only. It’s because they want to.
Cheating is a choice. Nobody drives anybody to cheat. Nobody tempted them away from their relationship. If they cheat on you, it is not because they don’t like the way you look or because you gained or lost weight. It’s not because of midlife crisis, and it is not because they don’t love you anymore. They cheat because they decide to and because they have found someone who will cheat with them. They have decided that whatever satisfaction they achieve by cheating is more important to them than the relationship you have together. They decided that their desire is stronger than how being cheated on could make you feel, and they decide it is more important than the relationship they have with you. Crystals can help with love and you can read about that here; Crystals for Love
Will They Cheat Again?
If someone has cheated, are they likely to cheat again? Will they reform themselves and stay faithful forever after being caught? Is cheating a learned behavior that can be unlearned, or is cheating a thing people are born to do? Will a cheater cheat again? Unfortunately, science shows they are likely to cheat again after they have cheated before. A study published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior found that people who reported cheating in a relationship are three times more likely to cheat in future relationships. Read more about that study here: Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships | Archives of Sexual Behavior
Signs They Are Cheating
Sometimes you can tell when people are cheating and If any of the following signs are present, they just might be. The number one sign that someone is cheating on you is that you have suspicions. So even if no other signs are there but you are concerned that they're cheating, check into things because they might be.
You’re Suspicious
Some people can naturally tell that something is wrong but they don't know exactly what. When you have shared your life with someone, and suddenly everything is different, there is a reason for that. If the changes aren't good, they might be cheating, so don’t ignore suspicions.
They Are Emotionally Distant
We all go through times of stress when we pull back from other people, but when your partner pulls back from you, that's not a good thing. If nothing tragic has happened, and your partner has emotionally distanced themselves from you, that's a sign that they might be cheating. They may be growing closer to someone else emotionally and pulling away from you instead. They might also stop calling. Find out what that can mean here: Why Isn’t He Calling Me?
The Sex Suffers
If your sex life suddenly starts to suffer, your partner might be having sex with somebody else. If you always had a very good, fun, or even a spontaneous sex life with one another and that completely stops, that is cause for concern. They might be cheating.
They Spend Less Time with You
When your partner stops spending as much time with you, they might be spending that time with somebody else. It is very important to continue to date even if you are in a long-term committed relationship with one another. If you're not making time to date each other but you always have, there's a reason for that. If they don't want to be in the same room in the house with you anymore but they always did, they might be pulling away from you because they're cheating. If they ignore you when you're in the room together and they never did before, they might be cheating.
They Come Home Later
Leaving home earlier in the day or coming home later in the evening could signal cheating. They might be meeting with someone before they go to work or they may be meeting with someone afterwards. They might also say that they have to do extra trips for work. Where are they spending this extra time away from you? It might be with somebody else.
You Catch Them Flirting
Some people consider flirting cheating. Other people don't, but if you catch them flirting with somebody else, they might be doing more than just flirting. So if you catch them flirting, pay attention to what else is going on. You might be involved with a cheater.
Stop Talking About Your Future
When you're in a long-term relationship, you discuss the future together. You talk about what you'll do for holidays and even the upcoming weekend. If they have always discussed the future with you, and they suddenly stopped doing that, they may be planning a future without you. Either way, they are no longer planning a future with you. Are they doing things to show they love you? Find out here: What Are the Symbols of Love?
Secretiveness
If your partner suddenly starts hiding where they're going when you're apart and they don't want you to see their cell phone, they're hiding something. If you're lucky, they're being secretive because they're planning a special surprise for you, but if it continues for a long time, there's something going on that they don't want you to know about. They might be spending extra money on someone else or be spending extra time with someone else, but whatever it is they don't want you to know about it.
Appearance Changes
Sudden changes in appearance can indicate that someone is trying to cheat or they're already cheating. If they go out and buy a new wardrobe, or suddenly start trying to improve their appearance, especially if that's something they've never done before, they might be trying to look attractive for somebody else. Covering gray hair, suddenly trying to lose weight, getting Botox, or tanning could all indicate your partner is cheating if they've never done these things before.
Sudden Workload Increase
if your partner suddenly says that they have to work late often, and they've never had to do that in their career before, pay attention. They may be using that as an excuse to meet a lover behind your back.
What to Do About a Cheater
It would be nice if you could just tell someone to stop cheating and they would, but unfortunately, that doesn’t usually work. You can ask someone to stop cheating, but they might not stop. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it, but how should you react? If there has been sexual infidelity, you might want to go see your doctor to make sure you don't catch anything contagious. Whether you do that or not you still have to decide what you want for your own future. Then it's a very good idea to confront your significant other and tell them you know they've been cheating.
Get Tested
You can get a sexually transmitted disease from your partner if they have cheated. It is estimated that 1 in 5 Americans has an STD. That’s a lot. If you only have one sexual partner, symptoms of an STD are evidence they have cheated. You need to see your doctor. Even if you have no STD symptoms, when you find out your partner has cheated, it’s a good idea to get tested for STD’s anyway. This will let you get treatment started early in case your partner gave you an STD. Don’t be too embarrassed to see your doctor if this happens. Your health matters most. Read more STD statistics here: How common are STDs in the US? | USAFacts
Decide What You Want
What do you want from a relationship? Relationships are supposed to make our lives better, not worse. A relationship has to contribute in some way, and if it contributes to your stress levels, that's bad. You want a relationship to make you feel good. Do you want a life partner? Do you want someone to have good times with? Do you want someone to raise a family with? Do you just want an equal partner who you can respect and enjoy your days with? Do you really want a relationship with this person, or is it more important for you to have fidelity? You have to decide.
Confront Them
Some people are afraid to confront their partner about infidelity, but to other people, communication is more important than keeping things quiet. When you've caught your partner cheating, or you have very strong suspicions that they are, sit down and talk to them about it. Maybe they're not actually cheating, but there are problems in the relationship that need to be addressed. Problems in the bedroom can be a medical issue that a doctor can fix. Emotional distance can be caused by stress levels. They might actually have an extra workload right now. Communication and open mindedness is important to relationships whether you're staying together or breaking up. Read about open mindedness here: The Importance of Having an Open Mind
Stay or Leave?
If you catch your partner cheating, should you leave them, or forgive them and stay together? Only you can decide. Is it possible for a cheater to be faithful again? Anything is possible, and some people decide they love their partner enough to move forward together. Other people say they can never trust their partner again after cheating, and they have to move forward with their life without them. Whatever happens, it is your decision whether to dump a cheater or stay with them. Give yourself time to decide, and in the end make the decision that feels best for you, no matter what anybody else says. Find out if breaking up is the right decision here: Navigating Breaking Up with Your Soulmate
If you have been cheated on, it’s not your fault, and it is not the end of your love life- although it might be the end of your relationship. Signs that someone might be cheating include them spending a lot less time with you and you catch them flirting with other people. It is very important to decide what you want when you have been cheated on, and if you need to, confront them when you find out they cheated. Cheaters might break hearts, but they can’t take away your right to be loved. You will find love, even if you have been cheated on. I promise.
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