Love myths have us thinking everything in our lives will be one hundred percent perfect once we find our one true love, and that nothing else in life matters but a romance. However, there are other kinds of love besides romance, and sometimes we have to choose between family and a lover or decide if a lover is being too demanding. What is love like in difficult times and do we need a lover to heal from heartbreak? How do we attract love, how do you know if you really love a woman or man? Do we have to love absolutely EVERYTHING about the people we love, and where can you find the best love advice? Join Mysticsense as we learn about these love topics and more.
How to Know if It’s True Love
Ah love! When we first meet someone new, and find ourselves falling head over heels for them, it can be the greatest time of our lives, but slowly, over time, things about them start to drive you mad and you regret the day you met them. Do you really love a woman you are smitten with or do like her, and feel attracted to her beauty, but literally cannot stand her as a person? How do you know if it’s true love or just temporarily enjoying somebody? A few clues are that you cannot imagine life without them, you love sharing life with them, you put up with some annoyances, and you love to love them.
You Can’t Imagine Life Without Them
Do you love a woman for the long haul? One way to know you do is if you are planning a future together and don’t ever want to be without this person. If a man loves a woman for life, he will want her with him no matter what, and once you find somebody you feel that way about, you can consider yourself lucky, because it’s true love!
You Tolerate Certain Things
You don’t have to tell them “I love EVERYTHING about you!” to truly be in love but being able to tolerate the things about them you wish would change is a sure sign you do love them. When it comes to your boyfriend, if you love him, you will put up with the fact he annoys you when he talks while you are watching TV whereas if you didn’t love him, you might not bother with him at all. We all have bad habits, things about ourselves we could improve, and we all have something ugly called b-a-g-g-a-g-e! You will find yourself saying “If you love him like I do, none of that will matter!” when it’s true love.
You Share Life with Them and Enjoy It
Let’s face it, people can be a pain in the rear end sometimes. We are messy, we break things, we take up valuable time that could be spent on other things, we cost money, and we are annoying sometimes. When you love somebody, you enjoy your life with them. When you love that woman of yours, making her a priority for your time is the number one thing on your mind, and you will catch yourself planning time together when you happen to be apart.
You Love to Love Him
People say love hurts, but true love actually doesn’t. It may hurt to be apart, and it may hurt to find out things are over, but love itself feels good, and you love being in love. Love isn’t all there is, but not having anybody to love can make some people feel lonesome. The love of friends, family, and romantic partners can make some people have the strength to keep going when life feels unbearable and the people who we love give us good times to look forward to no matter what else is going wrong. Love positive feelings will be on the forefront of your mind when you are in a good love relationship and it’s one sign you truly are in love! You will love to love them!
Love Comes in All Forms
Some people think love is only for the people we are sexually intimate with and they have no love in their lives if they are single, but nothing could be farther from the truth! Imagine what a world it would be if nobody could say “I love my dad and mom!” For the love of a woman who is your greatest friend to be yours is a fortunate thing indeed and sometimes it is our friends and their love that makes everything good in our hearts. Your friends and family will tell you “I love too” and “I love the woman who is my mother” is one of the strongest forms of love you will ever experience. The point is, even if you go through an extended period of time being single when you don’t want to be, your life can still be filled with enough love to light up your world.
To read more about different kinds of love, see here: Different Kinds of Love.
Love in Difficult Times
“I love this woman, but I just don’t know what to do “ may be what you find yourself saying in a particularly trying time in your relationship. One couple barely saw one another because when she was headed to work, he was just getting home from working all night, and it broke both of their hearts. They toughed it out and eventually were able to work the same shift. Then there is the ugly reality of illness one couple dealt with when the wife was chronically ill, could not work, and her mental health took a nosedive because of it all. Somehow, it brought the couple closer together, and they made it through the bad time until her health was good again. They found small things they could do as a couple when they had to give up the traveling she was too sick to do, and once her illness lifted, they slowly got back to normal, more united than ever.
If tough times drive you apart, as a couple, you can stop and see if there are underlying issues causing it or if you are just stressed and feeling like you are falling apart. Working as a team when faced with difficulties will help both of you get through things better than allowing stress to come between you. Men and women love people even in bad times and being mindful of how we react and treat the people we love when we are feeling our worst can help make the relationship stronger while lashing out or blaming our loved ones for things which can drive a wedge between us. Once things are said they cannot be taken back and saying the best of things to one another during tough times can help guide your relationship through the worst things that happen in life.
Choosing Love over Family
You would think that our families would be happy for us when we find love and take our significant other home and tell them “I love my boy” but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes family members don’t take our feelings into account and instead impose their unfair biases on us. One woman married a man she knew her mother would not approve of and kept it a secret from her mother for as long as she could. Eventually, she had to tell her mother, and her mother was simply not supportive. How could she choose between making her mother happy and marrying the man of her dreams? She followed her heart and eventually her mother came around because she did not want to lose her daughter, but not everybody has that sort of change of heart.
Another woman’s mother went out of her way to keep her daughter from getting married and it resulted in the daughter having to leave the family to live the life with the man who she loved. Her mother never saw how hurtful her actions were and the woman was never able to return to her family because of it. It doesn’t always end this sadly, but sometimes it does.
There comes a time when you have to make a decision. If you are sure the love you have is for life, choosing them if your family forces you to may be the only practical choice to make. Just know that if they leave you no other choice, you have not discarded your family. It is your family who has discarded you and the fault lies with them. Some families truly are toxic, and you don’t have to allow them to manipulate you. Know that if you are forced to choose love over your family’s wishes, you will be able to build strong, healthy relationships with friends who become your adopted family, and you won’t ever have to be alone.
I Need Somebody to Love to Heal
“I need a woman to love to heal my broken heart” is never the solution to a breakup. This is referred to as a rebound relationship, and if you are casually dating for fun, and the person you date is okay with that, there is no harm done. Yet, if you know you are not emotionally ready to commit to a new person who has committed to you, you risk hurting them, and nobody benefits from that. Some people give themselves a period of time like a year after a hurtful breakup to heal before they begin dating again. Healing emotionally after a heartbreak is necessary before you can move forward into a meaningful relationship.
Relationships that work out are based on a strong foundation, mutual respect, and love, not on using somebody else as a distraction so as not to face the painful emotions that come after a breakup. Working on building trust, and getting to know one another gradually lets you know what to expect from the individual you are building a relationship with. You get to experience time with one another and focus on the future you have together as opposed to what temporary purpose they can serve you.
Plenty of people have lucked into a relationship with somebody they ended up being committed to long term while they were dealing with the end of another relationship, so don’t think that can’t happen. Just don’t tell yourself you will go out immediately and latch onto somebody new and your breakup won’t affect you at all if you aren’t single, because you will be disappointed when that doesn’t work.
I , Too Love
People who were raised in dysfunctional families or who have been traumatized in past abusive relationships may assume they can never find healthy love, but that simply isn’t true. You don’t have to be relegated to being emotionally broken beyond repair. The Center for Family Justice reports that one in four women report being physical abuse victims at the hands of a partner, and child abuse is reported once every ten seconds in the US alone. Despite this, many people who have been abused find ways to trust well enough to love friends and significant others. Don’t assume that being hurt in the past has made it impossible for you to find people to include in your life who won’t hurt you.
Not everybody is comfortable consulting with a counselor immediately as they begin healing from abuse, but they want to find advice and guidance. Thankfully, the Universal Life Church and other organizations have been putting together lists of self-help books that are available. One woman started reading these kinds of books before she was ready for counseling, and they helped explain why she felt how she did and gave her techniques for healing. Eventually she was able to trust a counselor, however, in the meantime, she got started reading books professional therapists published, and it was a great help to her healing.
One day, you may be comfortable enough to see your own counselor who will compassionately explain that the trauma you experienced should never have happened to you and you are in no way permanently broken by it. They will also help you with coping and healing techniques that make you feel confident enough to open yourself to other people when you are ready. The people who hurt you have not destroyed you, and you will love deeply when you are ready to.
To see what books the Universal Life Church recommends for healing from abuse, read their article here: Books To Help You Heal From Abuse and Domestic Violence (ulc.org).
How a Woman Wants to be Loved
Women, men, and children all want to be loved the same way- genuinely. We all want to be in relationships with people who accept us for who we are, who want to spend time with us, and who we can trust to be in our lives long term. Everybody wants people who love them to tell them the truth, and who will make them a priority. People also want their wishes honored and they want to be treated with respect. They want people in their lives who can apologize when they are wrong and who can forgive them when they make a mistake and say they are sorry. We want our relationships to be meaningful, and we want our friends to be trusted to keep our secrets and defend us in our absence.
People want people in their lives who will help when they need help, but who can also respect their independence. We want to be involved with people who we can share good times with and who takes an interest in the things that are important to us. People want friends and lovers who will go out, enjoying events and trips with them, but they also like to have people in their lives who can hang out at home with them, just spending time together, and not necessarily always doing something special. Some men believe that how women want to be loved is a great mystery they can never solve, but the truth is, women want to be loved in the same ways men do. Never hesitate to ask a woman what she specifically wants if there is any doubt. Women like people to give them choices and respect the things they choose.
You Can Only Love One Woman or Man for Life?
A great misconception is that you will have ONE true love and you have to quest for this individual tirelessly until you find them! The truth is, some people will have more than one significant other they love deeply in life. If you are widowed, don’t tell yourself that you can never find love after your spouse passes away and don’t believe you will never find romantic love again if your significant other discarded you for someone else. You may not immediately start dating if you lost a love, but there is no commandment that states you get one shot at love, and that’s all. Plenty of people have gotten remarried and lived happily ever after.
The Office for National Statistics found that second marriages fare better than first marriages that end in divorce, with the divorce rate for second marriages being lower. The older you are when you marry again after divorce, the lower the chance of that marriage ending in divorce. Not all marriages end in divorce, however, and sadly some end when a spouse dies. While not everybody wants to remarry or even date after a spouse has passed away, a study found that over sixty percent of men who lost a spouse to death were dating within two years of their spouse’s death and twenty percent of women were.
If you don’t want to have another lover, that is understandable as well. In 2013, a study USA Today wrote about discovered that remarriage rates had dropped by forty percent in twenty years. Not everybody feels the desire to remarry or even date after losing a lover. Only you can decide if taking another lover is right for you, but don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t if you decide you’d like to!
I Would Do Anything for the Woman I Love
There are some people who say they would literally do anything for the people they love- but what does ANYTHING include? There has to be a limit to expectations, and if you discover that somebody you love is taking advantage of your devotion, you are allowed to use the magic word of “No” when they make unfair demands. One woman was close friends with a woman who told her “If you are REALLY my friend, you will do what I want,” and she would try to manipulate her into doing things she didn’t want to. The friendship ended when the friend would not take no for an answer, because the friend decided it was unacceptable to feel taken advantage of or manipulated.
If your loved one is doing things like using your for money, trying to insinuate themselves into other friendships, or they expect you to cancel important things to do things they could do for themselves, demanding that you do these things for them to demonstrate how devoted you are to them, you are being taken advantage of. They are using you, not loving you. On one hand, we need our friends and loved ones in our lives. We experience life together, alleviate loneliness, and there comes a time in everybody’s life when they need help from somebody. Giving and accepting help is entirely different that being bullied into meeting unfair demands by a so-called loved one. Remember the magic word “No” and use it when you need to. Nobody can force you to meet unfair demands if you refuse to.
Barriers to Love
Are there barriers, or things keeping you away from your relationship? That’s entirely different than barriers to love! Love exists even if you can’t be together. Those things keeping you apart might not be forever. One couple lived almost three hours away from one another and dated long distance for about a year until they decided they wanted to live together. Typically, those are not the kinds of things that create barriers, however. It’s our own behaviors that hold us back from loving relationships.
Being too terrified of being rejected to actually be open to a relationship is a major barrier to love. Being too selfish to share with others is another major thing that can keep us out of relationships and having unrealistic expectations of perfection will also keep us out of loving relationships. If you are afraid of rejection, understanding that everybody else is too might make it easier for you to take a chance on love. Recognizing red flags that the individual who is wooing you isn’t interested in YOU and you feel they will reject you when they get to know you, however is wise, and you should trust yourself and stay away.
Selfishness and the ability to consider other people’s feelings will not keep everybody away, but the people it lets in are not healthy people you can have an open, sharing relationship with. Some people are okay with that because all they want other people around for is things like money that they can coerce out of them anyways. Just know that if your goal in relationships is to use people and you never work on your own selfishness, you will miss out on true love.
It is one thing to refuse to settle for less than what makes you happy in a relationship, but it is quite another to have unrealistic expectations that keep you from being in a relationship. One individual always said how nobody they ever met was good enough for them, and they were unable to secure a long-term relationship. They always left or pushed the other person away with their nitpicking. Some people do this out of fear of being hurt and use it as a way to keep people away. Others are genuinely that negative, and unable to be happy because they are too busy finding fault in perfectly good people.
All these bad habits act as deterrents to finding love and sharing a life with someone, and it’s not worth it. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies, and if we cannot take responsibility for what we do that jeopardizes our ability to be in relationships, changing for the better, that relationship if our dreams will stay out of reach.
Attracting Love
Drawing love to ourselves is easily done with two mindful actions. We have to give love first to receive it and we have to be ourselves. Yes, it’s that simple. There is no necessary spellwork to make people love us, and we don’t have to be the prettiest lady or most handsome man to make people love us either. We don’t have to be rich, famous, or charismatic. We just have to be loving individuals who accept ourselves for who we are. Everybody is different and we are all born a beautiful person inside and out. While we learn bad habits we can always unlearn, all of us are worthy of love and have a whole lot of love to give. Look around at the people who you have in your life right now who you love and who love you.
Think of all the good times and great things you have shared. You will have many more great memories you make with these people and a lot more good people you will be lucky enough to meet in your future. If you open yourself to love, giving it freely, people will respond to your good heart, and give you love in return. If you are genuine, never pretending to be someone you are not, the right people who are naturally compatible with you will be automatically drawn to you when you meet.
If you are struggling to find a way to open your heart to accept more love, think of somebody who needs you, and be there for them. This can be a co-worker who always sits alone at lunch or the neighborhood stray cat who will appreciate flea medication but know that giving love will make people and creatures love you as well. You have a lot of good years to give and receive a lot of love and the world is fortunate to have you giving the good you have to share.
I Need Love Advice!
The best love advice may be in your own heart, but it may take you a while to learn to trust your inner voice. A love advice column many swear by is ran by Carolyn Hax, whose no nonsense advice on love and all things people ask her about has been respected for years. She won’t beat around the bush with being truthful, and you will gain some knowledge just reading the good advice she shares with a lot of people who need her.
You can find her advice in the Washington Post, which is accessible here: Carolyn Hax - The Washington Post.
For personalized love advice about what is going on in your own love life, however, don’t hesitate to reach out to one of hundreds of love experts on Mysticsense. To find out if it’s wrong to love someone who may be meant for someone else, even if you love to love him, contact us today. Each love psychic has wisdom and experience dealing with the ups and downs of romance, family issues, friendship love, and teaching you how to put yourself first. Start your personalized love reading today!
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