Find out how to break up with your best friend, when to ignore small, unimportant annoyances, and when to make up after a fight.
Some best friends are with us forever, but sometimes, problems arise that make you question if the friendship is only temporary. Breaking up with your best friend can hurt more than breaking up with a romance partner, but it happens sometimes. Join Mysticsense to find out about best friend breakups, and what to do when it happens to you.
What is a Best Friend “Divorce”?
Some best friends are closer to us than a significant other, and we form bonds as strong as marriage. You share most every secret with your best friend, and they know you in some ways better than you know yourself. Some best friends have been together since they were little kids, and nothing can keep them apart for long, even if they live in different places. Our best friends support us when we have romantic breakups, and they happily walk us down the aisle when we get married. They may raise their kids with our kids, and if we are very lucky, our best friends will be with us in our old age. Our best friends might share the most important relationship of our lives with us.
When a horrible falling out happens in such a relationship, and you decide to call off your friendship, this is called a “best friend’s divorce.” You might have mutual friends who try to get you to make up, but then again, your mutual friends might try to take sides in your breakup. Each situation is different. Aftar a best friend breakup, you might feel lost and you might wonder if you can ever be friends with anybody else again. Before you decide whether to call off your friendship, you have some thinking to do. Sometimes you have to let things go, and sometimes, you have to speak up about what upsets you. Even if you do break things off, sometimes, there is hope, and you can get back together. Read about marriage here: Will You Marry Me? Why Getting Married Matters
When to Let Things Go
Some things are not worth a fight. When you’re upset, that might be hard to remember. However, sometimes, you just have to let things go. If something was so small it doesn’t matter, you can let it go. If something causes no harm at all, you can let it go. Sometimes, it’s not even worth addressing. Just let it go.
When It’s Small
Some things are so small and unimportant, they really don’t affect your friendship. Does it really matter if you follow different religions or vote differently if your differences cause no issues? Does it matter that they are from a different culture and there are some things about your personal culture they don’t understand? Does it matter that your best friend makes significantly more or less money than you do? Does it matter that your lifestyles are drastically different? Some things are so small, there is no reason to make them an issue.
When It’s Harmless
Say your friend has the annoying habit of being what they call a “mouth breather” and it’s really loud. Who cares? Maybe your friend has sinus problems. It might annoy you, but what harm does it cause? Truthfully, we all have annoying habits, and yes, you do too. Your best friend might not make an issue out of harmless annoying things you do because they know it doesn’t matter. A good, reliable friend is always more important than anything else. So let harmless annoyances go. Read about Twin Flames here: The Meaning of Twin Flames
When It’s Not Worth It
Sometimes, making a stink about something just isn’t worth it. Maybe it is small, maybe it is harmless, or maybe it is a bigger thing that is upsetting. However, it might not be worth addressing, because your friendship is more important. It’s not every day you meet a good friend, let alone a best friend. The most important things in life tend to revolve around healthy relationships. If a friendship is the best thing you have, and addressing something that bothers you is not as important, it’s ok if you decide to let it go. Read about love and relationships here: All About Love and Relationships
When To Speak Up
There comes a time when you have to speak up about things, though. Not everything that happens is something you can let go. Just because you love your best friend doesn’t mean they can get by with whatever they want. If they knew better than what they did, you need to address what happened. If they did something they did not know would upset you, tell them. If you are just really upset, tell your best friend.
They Knew Better
Sometimes, our best friends don’t act in the best of ways. Sometimes, they are on their worst behavior, and they knew they shouldn’t have done something, but they did it anyways. We should not have to call each other out, but sometimes we do. When your friend deliberately slipped the ingredient you said you were allergic to in your food just to see if you were, they knew better. When you find out that your best friend cheated with your girlfriend, I’m sorry, but they knew better. When your best friend is three hours late for the millionth time you were supposed to get together, they knew better. So, speak up and tell them not to do it again. Read about learning to trust again: Learn to Trust Again After Relationships
They Did Not Realize It
Sometimes your best friend does something that really upsets you and they have no clue it would. Tell them. If you have built a loving relationship together, give your friend the opportunity to understand what bothers you. No matter how long we know someone, they are always evolving. Something that never bothered one of you before might become an issue someday. Your best friend has been by your side through good and bad times. Give them some credit and have faith that when you explain what they did not know yet, they will understand.
You Are Really Upset
When you get upset, take a step back and take a break. You might need a few moments, hours, or even days to cool down enough to be able to assess the situation calmly. It is entirely possible that whatever happened might be something you decide really isn’t all that upsetting. Then again, it might be. Speak up and talk to your friend about it. A true friend will listen with an open heart. If they did something that upset you, once they find out, they will be truly sorry. A true best friend would never deliberately upset you and they will do their best to never do what upsets you again. Learn about saying you are sorry here: How to Say You’re Sorry
Reasons To Break It Off
Not every fight should result in a breakup, but some fights do. How do you know to call off the friendship? If something unacceptable happened there is no going back from, you might want to break things off. If you can never trust your friend again, you can break up. The minute you discover they are not a true friend, why bother staying together when you want to break up?
It Was Unacceptable
Did your friend hack into your e-mail to get the contact information you flat out told them they could not have? Did they spend your money without your permission? Did they start dating the ex who abused you? Did they tell your deepest secrets to someone else? There are some things that happen that are so bad and so unacceptable, that it makes you wonder if this so-called friend of yours is the same person you have been involved with or if they have been cloned and this person is a complete stranger. If something outrageously unacceptable happened, it’s ok if you decide to cancel the friendship.
The Trust is Gone
Your best friend is supposed to be someone who you can trust beyond a shadow of a doubt. What happens when they do something that breaks that trust so badly, you don’t feel like you will ever be able to trust them again? When trust is gone, what do you have left? Sometimes, trust can be built again, but what if it can’t be? You might be moving on without them, and you can read how to do that here: Move Forward or Get Back Together With Someone?
They Are Not a True Friend
Best friends have each other’s backs. They will be there for one another, and they care deeply about each other’s feelings. Your best friend will hold your hand when you are struggling and celebrate your victories with you. Well, they are SUPPOSED to, aren’t they? What happens when they don’t? What happens if they are jealous, or ditch you when you need them although they could help you if they wanted? They are not your friend. You can stop being their friend if they are not going to be a friend to you.
How to Break Things Off
Each of us has a different way of communicating. Some people are very upfront with their feelings, thoughts, and plans. Not everybody is comfortable with a conversation that could turn into a fight, however. Each best friend breakup is different. You might decide to explain things, out of respect for the fact that you two mean so much to each other. Then again, what happened might be so bad, you just walk away without explaining yourself.
Talk It Out
After many years, countless experiences, and many wonderful memories, it might be necessary to sit down and talk before you break up with your best friend. You might have to decide how to split up the things you own together and you might have to decide who is going to move out if you live together. You might have finances you share, and you will need to separate your finances before cutting off all communication. One thing you can talk about is why you are breaking things off, and what could have been better. Who knows? Maybe talking about things will bring up some truths one or both of you did not know about. After all you have bene through together, you might decide you have too much respect for the relationship to just leave without a word. Read about some of the things that can tell you it is time to break up: 15 Signs Your Partner Wants To Break Up With You
Just Walk Away
Sometimes, something so bad has happened, no words are needed when you step away from a relationship. Maybe you have said everything that needs to be said about what happened, and your best friend knows you well enough to know they will not hear from you again. Maybe what happened hurt you so badly, you do not have the emotional strength to have a conversation about why you are breaking things off. Maybe the events, the fight, or the struggle made it obvious that you were at the end of your friendship, and no words were necessary. You will know in your heart whether saying you are breaking up is necessary or not.
Can You Get Back Together?
All relationships have ups and downs, and your relationship with your best friend might have a major falling out someday. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever get back together again. Sometimes you have to be the one to reach out to reconcile, and sometimes your friend does it before you get a chance. Never be afraid to sit down and talk about how a situation made you feel. There may have been things going on that either you or your friend had not known about that caused one of you to act out of character. As time goes by, you might decide you made a mistake breaking things off, and you might miss each other.
A best friend is not just any old friendly acquaintance. They are someone who has become a big part of your life. Just because you had a falling out and broke your friendship off doesn’t mean that is permanent. It might have just been a dark part of your friendship, and you can get through it. Your best friend is someone who has been through a lot with you, and who knows and loves you best. It might be too much to let go forever. If you two decide to make up, you can put your terrible breakup behind you and take comfort in the fact that nothing can keep you away from each other for long. Read about being friends win an ex here: Ex-Relationships: Signs of Attention-Seeking Ex.
The people we love most and spend the most time with have the potential to make our lives better than anybody else can. They can also make us the most upset. This is simply because they matter the most. Sometimes, somebody acts like they are our best friend, but they really don’t care about us, and a best friend breakup is called for. Sometimes, we have a falling out, and can make up with our best friend, though. A true best friend is worth making up with. Your heart will know what is best. May you and your best friend never have a breakup, and may you be together forever. So be It.
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