Getting married is a major life changing event, and lots of people do it- but why? Find out the reasons for marriage, why it’s important, and why not everybody wants marriage.
Scriptures on marriage say marriage is pleasing in the eyes of the divine, but not everybody agrees. Some people discover they are unhappy being married, but some people say marriage is the best thing that ever happened to them. Join Mysticsense to explore marriage. What is marriage anyways and why do we do it? Is there an age when it is best to get married, so we are less at risk for divorce? What if you don’t want to get married at all? What happens then? Should you call the wedding off, especially at the last minute? Read on to find out.
What is Marriage?
Marriage is legally joining someone to share life with them and to become partners financially. Depending on your Nation or state in your country, marriage allows certain rights to the marriage partners of property, power of attorney in the event of injury or illness, and transfer of wealth and property when one spouse dies. For a lot of people, marriage is more than just this, but it is about building a family together. Some cultures frown upon sex or having children outside of marriage, and some families expect you to allow them to select who you marry.
There are places where marriage is only allowed to be between one man and one woman, but not everyplace is like that. Some places legally recognize multiple spouses, and others recognize same sex marriage. Some religious organizations do not allow divorce, and if you get legally divorced and remarried without their approval, they refuse to recognize your new marriage. What could be a decision to forge a life together between two people certainly does include a lot of other people sometimes, doesn’t it? There are reasons we marry, benefits to it, and drawbacks also. Marriage is also not for everybody, and that’s okay. Before you read on, find out about unconditional love: Unconditional Love Meaning
What Are the Benefits of Marriage?
Marriage is expensive, it might mean you have to deal with annoying family members, and it can eat up a lot of your time you’d rather spend out with friends, so what’s the benefits of marriage? Financially, you are better off, and your health will be better in a good marriage. Your mental health will also be better.
More Financial Security
Obviously, two sources of wealth are better than one. Even if one of you works and the other doesn’t, your partner who is unemployed can help find ways to cut costs, find resources, and reach out to their family in the event you need help with money. More than that, society gives perks to married people that single people don’t get. Couples who file their taxes jointly get more tax breaks than single filers and you may be eligible for your spouse’s retirement or Social Security benefits if they die before you do. You can also get group rates on things like insurance. This doesn’t count how much more money you have as a couple if you both have an income. You overcome financial hurdles as a team when you are married. Read about overcoming challenges here: Overcome Challenges in Life
Better Health
Is marriage good for your health? Harvard Health reports that in 25,000 people in a study, those who were married were 14% more likely to survive a heart attack and they got to leave the hospital and go home sooner than those who were not married. When you are in a happy marriage, your stress levels are lower, which affects your physical health in good ways. You are more likely to recover well from illness or surgery in a happy marriage because you have your spouse to help you, and studies show you are more likely to survive cancer and live for a longer time afterwards if you are married. Read more from the Harvard Health article here: The health advantages of marriage - Harvard Health
Better Emotional Stability
Married couples report less mental health issues stemming from loneliness. Research shows depressive symptoms decrease with marriage and increase with divorce. Some people assume that people who are less prone to feeling despair are more likely to be in healthy relationships, but there is no proof of that. There is proof that when you are not lonely, you are not as sad or dismal, and a good marriage gives you a partner to share life’s ups and downs with. Physical intimacy with a partner who you love, and trust can make you feel better emotionally, and having a partner to lean on in bad times makes you feel like everything will be okay, even if times are tough. Read about healing a broken heart here: Will Time Heal a Broken Heart?
What is the Best Age to Get Married?
To be fair, not everybody meets the person they love enough to marry by a certain age. Plenty of people have gotten married younger than some people say they should have and some people have gotten married in their golden years and lived happily ever after. So, there is no guarantee that getting married before or after the “perfect age” will jeopardize your marriage. Studies show that you are twice as likely to get a divorce if you marry at age 20 than at age 25, however. Studies also show that getting married between the age of 28 and 32 makes you less likely to get a divorce, and if you wait until your mid 30’s or later to get married, your risk of divorce rises.
Women who marry for the first time after age 45 are the group most likely to be divorced. Marriage to a divorced man is more likely to end in divorce as well. Why? Perhaps at our youngest we don’t know exactly what we want in life? Perhaps when we marry older, more established people, we have been independent for long enough that we believe we don’t feel like we “need” marriage. Some people will stay together in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their kids, and divorce in middle age when the kids move out, making them what is called “empty nesters.” Read about love and relationships here: All About Love and Relationships
I’m Afraid of Divorce
Is it any wonder? Today, about half of first marriages end in divorce, and if you get remarried, you are more likely to divorce again. You have probably known people who lost nearly everything they owned after decades of marriage and ended up lonely, bitter, and regretting ever getting married to begin with. If you have been divorced, you know how difficult it can be, but guess what? Just because divorce happens sometimes does not mean it will definitely happen to you. If half of all marriages fail, that means half of them succeed. If you really love your partner and want to get married, you just might be one of the couples that makes things work. So don’t let fear of the possibility of divorce stop you. Read about being friends with an ex here: Ex-Relationships: Signs of Attention-Seeking Ex.
Why Get Married?
Why do people get married anyhow? Because they want to! All joking aside, three of the biggest reasons we marry are for love, for the benefits, or to start our own family.
Love
When you are in love with each other, and you want to spend your life together, you can pledge your commitment to that by getting married. Your wedding will be a public statement of your intention to be together for life, through good and bad, and share your lives together no matter what. Read about love at first sight here: Is Love at First Sight Real?
Benefits
As discussed previously, the benefits of being married can be enough reason to marry. Some people value their own freedom and independence, but other people want to unite with someone else for life. The health, emotional, and financial benefits can be measured statistically, but another benefit exists. The benefit of having somebody who is your best friend and who you trust more than anybody else in your home for life is priceless.
Family
Some people get married so they can build a family together. They unite their own families together, and having children brings even more people into the family they are building. Not all couples have kids of their own, but raise pets together, or stay child free by choice. They are still a family together. Building your own family through marriage is a beautiful way to share life together. Sometimes, things with your partner’s family are too close for comfort. Read about mama’s boys here: How to Deal with a Mama’s Boy
I Don’t Want to Get Married!
The case for marriage is a pretty strong one, but sometimes, it just doesn’t feel right. If you have not found the person, or even if you have, being legally bound to somebody else might sound awful. Not everybody likes the idea of being bound to someone else legally, and some divorced people don’t want to risk another possible divorce. What can you do if you don’t want to get married at all?
Cohabitate
What happens when you fall in love and want to share your life with someone, but for some reason or another, you just don’t want to make it legal? You can simply live together as a couple and not get married. Some people call this “living in sin” or “being afraid of commitment”, but plenty of couples ignore what other people have to say about that and live together, on their own terms, for life. One couple never married, but bought a home, boats, and other beautiful things together. They had both been previously married, had children of their own, and just saw no reason to remarry, but they raised lots of dogs together and stayed together for life. If this is what you and your partner want, go for it. Read about blending families when your lover has kids here: Loving Someone Who Has Kids
Date
The idea of marriage or cohabitation turns some people off. That doesn’t mean they are not interested in sex or relationships. You can date or have lovers and not live with anybody if that’s what you want. Your family might ask you when you are going to “settle down and get married” and if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. That doesn’t mean you can’t have relationships. Some people have no plans to marry or live with someone until they meet somebody who makes them want to. If this is how you feel about it, do what works for you, and let other people who believe in marriage get married. It doesn’t mean you are playing hard to get through, and you can read about that here: Why do we Play Hard to Get in a Relationship?
Stay Single
There are plenty of people who love being single. Does this make them antisocial or selfish? No. They just understand what they want, and that is to be single. Maybe they have not found love that makes them want to marry. Maybe a long time ago they did, and something happened to their partner, who they are grieving. Everybody who is unmarried has a reason, and every one of them is their business. It’s also their right. It is not abnormal to be unmarried. It’s a choice. If you don’t want to be married and you don’t want to live with someone or even date, that’s okay. Read about love crystals here: Crystals for Love
Calling Off a Wedding
You and your partner may have spent months and money planning the perfect wedding, but something just doesn’t feel right. If you are at the end of the aisle and you get a very bad feeling that this marriage would be a huge mistake, what should you do? Keep in mind marriage is expensive, but divorce is more expensive. The average fancy wedding costs over $30,000 and a divorce costs less- an average of $15,000 to $20,000- but this does not count the cost of losing assets financially. Splitting up savings, property, and custody of children after divorce can bring the bill from a divorce into the hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Sure, you can’t cancel the flowers, cake, limo, reception space, entertainment, and all the things you bought to wear and eat at a wedding. You cannot get that money back. People will be upset with you if you cancel a wedding. Some people may never speak to you again. This is less costly emotionally than going through with getting married when you don’t feel ready. You might love the person you are engaged to, and you don’t want to hurt them, but down the road, if you never like being married to them, divorce is going to hurt them worse than canceling a wedding.
The benefits for marriage are undeniable, and studies show that your health, finances, emotional, and mental wellbeing is much better in a happy marriage. Some people would say they could not get by without their spouse, but then again, being in an unhappy marriage is not good at all. If you decide marriage isn’t for you, that’s okay. You might still be waiting to meet the right person to marry, and you might be somebody who is happiest not married. Follow your heart to decide if marriage is right for you and you can’t go wrong.
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