Learn the secrets to making peace with people who you don’t like, and how you can make any form of relationship work with them, even if they don’t like you either.
Oh great. The office gossip is headed your way, and it’s not been the best of days to begin with. Before you bite their head off when they open their mouth to say something to you, take a step back. Just because you can’t stand somebody doesn’t mean you can’t get along with them. You can get along with anybody, even if they don’t want to get along with you, and Mysticsense is here to explain how. Join us to find out why we conflict with other people to begin with and why it is worth it to get along with the people who you don’t like. Find out how to get along with people at work, at home, and in public and exactly how to do it. By the time you figure out how to get along with all these people you don’t like, you might be surprised they go out of their way to get along with you too!
What Causes Conflicts?
To be fair, it’s really not fun to deal with people who you dislike. It might be all their fault and you may be doing all you can to get along with them, but their attitude isn’t helping. What causes these things? Personalities can conflict, and disagreements can pit people against each other. Then there are just bad attitudes souring everything.
We don’t like everyone and not everyone likes us. This is because of differences in personalities sometimes. If you are a quiet person and loud noises jolt your nerves, the chatty neighbor who practices their bagpipes in the backyard can drive you up the wall. It’s not always somebody’s fault if there are personality differences. We just have to live our lives and let other people be who they are sometimes. At other times, belligerent, mean people upset pretty much everybody, but if they refuse to change, we can still find ways to get along with them. Read about difficult relationships here: Difficulty in Relationships
Disagreements
Politics and religion are two hot topics that create divisions, but some people don’t disagree on such big things. Some people disagree on dress styles, what the neighborhood should allow in people’s gardens, or what kind of music is best. Disagreements, even over small things like favorite colors, can develop into full scale fights and long-term rivalries. One small disagreement can result in heated words that are never forgotten and there can be hard feelings. Disagreements don’t have to make us fight forever, and peace can be established even if things got ugly before.
Bad Attitudes
Sometimes, people just have bad attitudes. We sometimes decide we don’t like somebody for whatever reason, and every time we see them, we go out of our way to make things unpleasant. If we are unpleasant, sometimes people go away and leave us alone, and then we are not stuck being around people we don’t like. The problem with this is it’s a passive aggressive way of dealing with things and instead of tackling the problem, we create more problems by making an unpleasant environment. Sometimes, it’s them, and that’s no fun either. Even if someone has a bad attitude doesn’t mean you have to behave the same way though. Somebody’s bad attitude can make you want to be single- read about being single by choice: Being Single By Choice
Why Get Along with People?
When somebody is being a pain in the you-know-where, it might make you wonder why you should bother to try and get along with them. After all, it might not seem like they are trying to get along with you. Believe it or not, there are benefits to being the person who makes an effort. It benefits you in multiple ways. It also benefits the people you are sick of dealing with. Beyond this, it benefits your entire community.
It Benefits You
When someone is going out of their way to be difficult to get along with, if you respond by going out of your way to get along, this benefits you. First, people are watching even if you think they are not. They can see you are the one being civil and immediately know the other person is the one being a problem. You will get more respect and cooperation from other people when they see you avoiding fights and conflict. Next, even a lot of difficult people respond positively when you won’t fight with them. Furthermore, if you refuse to fight with someone it makes less stress for you.
It Benefits Them
Not everybody who is creating problems is doing it on purpose. If they are being a pain to deal with, and you do everything you can to get along with them, they might realize they are wrong, and change. They might learn to be a better person by following your example, and they will appreciate you. Some people are going through unspeakably tough times and can’t concentrate on being pleasant. If you work to provide a harmonious environment, their life will get easier. If you are both fighting it can be an all-out war and that doesn’t benefit anybody. Read about goddesses and gods of war here: Who is the Goddess and God of War? | Mysticsense
It Benefits Your Community
If you and a neighbor, co-worker, ex friend, or even a family member are unable to get along, everybody around you has to deal with the environment it creates. Fights can get so bad, it creates an extremely toxic environment. When you have words or refuse to cooperate with one another, other people are going to get stuck in the middle. It’s not fair to them. When you and someone you don’t get along with take turns striking out at one another, one of you is going to have to stop doing it first and try to create peace. Why not let it be you?
How to Get Along
It’s easy to say we SHOULD all get along, but that is easy to say and difficult to do sometimes. At home, on the job, and in public, there are different techniques you can use to get along with people.
At Work
Some experts say that workplace drama can eat up more than two hours of your workday. If you and a co-worker are refusing to get along, that is four or more hours you lose between the two of you. It is not worth it to lose productivity at work. If it is a small problem, you can just let your co-worker have the last word and move on with your day, but if it is a big problem that is affecting your work, you are going to have to involve your management team. Each workplace has policies and procedures set in place to follow to help with difficult situations. A conversation with Human Resources or your supervisor might resolve your issues. They can help you to make sure you and your co-worker you are not getting along with find a way to put your differences aside so you can collaborate instead of fighting. Maybe you work with an ex, but can you get along? Find out here: Ex-Relationships: Signs of Attention-Seeking Ex.
At Home
Family members and neighbors can be unbearable to deal with at home sometimes. Problem neighbors can be reported to your HOA or local authorities if things get too out of hand. Talking with them to try and resolve issues helps sometimes. If their music is too loud for you, they may not have realized it and will be happy to turn it down. If things are not too horrible, annoying neighbors can be shut out when you close the door, but people who live under the same roof as you can’t. If you live with family members who encroach on your personal space, boundaries need to be set. A family meeting can establish expectations and solve problems. If not, you can always count down the days until you can get your own place. Then you don’t even have to let them come to visit you! Problem solved.
In Public
Strangers can be difficult to deal with too. On the road, especially. About 80% of people in North America deal with road rage each year and approximately 66% of traffic fatalities in the US are because of aggressive driving. So, when somebody cuts you off in traffic, screams at you, or gestures rudely, don’t respond with more aggression. Your life or the life of somebody else might depend on it. Smile, and wave them in front of you, or politely ignore their behavior. About half of people who are treated rudely in traffic respond with more rudeness. Join the half of the people who don’t, and just don’t continue the rudeness. Read about the difference between good and evil here: What’s the Difference Between Good and Evil?
When They Started It
So, who started the problems anyways, and how can your approach change based on that when you want to get along better? When they are to blame, it might be harder work to get along with them, but there are smart techniques you can try anyhow.
Ignore It
Maybe you have dealt with your cousin chewing with their mouth open until it makes you want to throw up and you just feel like you can’t take it anymore. Or can you? You can simply eat next to someone else or ignore the behavior. Chances are, it’s something worse than this that sets you off, but if the behavior can be ignored for the sake of keeping the peace, give it a try. You have nothing to lose, and a peaceful environment would be the benefit.
Discuss It
It is amazing how many problems communication can solve. Pumble.com states workplaces that communicate effectively can improve productivity by 25% and 70% of people said poor communication results in wasted time. Our personal relationships and public communications can benefit just as much from good communication. If there is a problem, talk to the person who you are struggling to get along with and you might be able to work things out. It can’t hurt to try. Read Pumble’s article here: Workplace Communication Statistics in 2024 (pumble.com)
If asking someone to stop a behavior does not make them stop, you might benefit from just accepting that that is how things are going to be. You might also have to accept that this person will never stop bothering you and you must make peace with the fact you will have to put up with them. Making peace with the fact you can’t change things does not mean you are okay with what is going on. It just gives you the opportunity to stop allowing the fact you dislike someone to dominate you. We can’t change everybody but we can choose not to be controlled by whether we like or dislike someone.
When You Started It
Sometimes, it’s your fault, and the only person who can make things better is you. It might not be fun, and swallowing your pride might hurt, but it is worth it. Admit that you are to blame, adapt, and build a positive relationship even if you dislike the other person.
Admit It
This step is hard. It entails admitting you are wrong. If you dislike someone because of a bias, or another unfair reason, it’s difficult to admit your dislike is unfounded. Gues what? That does not mean you have to suddenly start liking them. It just means you can’t base how you behave when they are around on whether you like them or not. Even if they earned your dislike of them, so what? We all dislike some people, and some other people dislike us. That does not mean we can’t get along with them. Read about saying you are sorry here: How to Say You’re Sorry
Adapt
If you are at fault, change your behavior. Disliking people can influence our attitude, which dictates behavior. Acting like you dislike someone will create a break in communication with them, and that isn’t always helpful. You might be cold with someone who you really need to communicate with on the job just because you dislike them. Opening communication with them will help you do your job better and it might just land you that promotion you have been wanting. Improving your attitude toward someone will improve how you get along immediately. If you are nice to most people, they will be nice to you also.
Build Relationships
Have you been avoiding your teammate because you think she wears too much makeup? Go work with her and stop focusing on her makeup, because it is none of your business. Do you refuse to say hello to a neighbor who you think is “overly friendly” and you find them annoying? Say hello anyways. That “overly friendly” neighbor might give you a ride to the store when your car is in the shop. Getting along with people even if we don’t like them allows us to benefit from their help, understanding, and respect.
Sometimes it seems impossible to get along with somebody, but you might be able to make the impossible happen if you try. Ignoring small things and discussing big things can go a long way to create harmony at work, home, and in public. Sometimes it’s their fault, but you can still get along with a lot of people if you try. If it’s your fault, admit it, and change. Getting along with people who you can’t stand can make your life easier, create less headaches, and make you sleep better at night. It’s worth it.
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