Getting revenge might be some people’s main goal when they have been hurt, but it comes with a price. Find out exactly what happens when we get revenge and decide if it is worth it or if you should move on.
Superstars Joan Crawford and Bette Davis were famous for a lot of things, including their long-time rivalry. It is said their beef started in 1935 when they both fell in love with the same man, and the fact they were rivals for the same starring roles in films made it worse. Both women were said to get revenge on one another as often as possible. When Bette Davis lost an award to actress Anne Bancroft, Joan Crawford made sure to accept the award- in Bancroft’s behalf- to spite Bette. They starred in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” together, and Joan filled her pockets with rocks and wore a weighted belt so it would make it harder for Bette to carry her. Bette was said to kick Joan in the head! They never resolved their issues and when Joan died, Bette said “ You should never say bad things about the dead, only good…Joan Crawford is dead. Good.”
These ladies were not the only ones who were pro revenge. BBC.com reports that 60% of school shootings and 20% of homicides are due to revenge. They also point out that getting revenge makes people feel good. Read more about what BBC.com has to say here: The hidden upsides of revenge (bbc.com) Some people say that revenge might feel good, but it is bad to get revenge. Other people say revenge is an important way to see that justice is served, but who is right? Join Mysticsense to find out the pros and cons of revenge and decide for yourself whether revenge really is sweet, or if it is something to be avoided entirely.
What is Revenge?
“ Revenge is beneath me but accidents happen.” – anonymous
Revenge is harming someone in response to a wrong. It can be done to punish, for justice, or to grant restoration to someone who has suffered or had something taken from them. Some people just do it to make themselves feel better. If they see the person who wronged them suffer, it makes them happy. Not everybody takes revenge just for themselves, however. Some people take revenge to show respect to a loved one or family member. Some long-term revenge cycles, called feuds, happen because of this.
A famous feud was between the Campbells and MacDonalds in 17th century Scotland. They were rivals because they were all cattle farmers, and it all came to a head when the MacDonalds did not pledge loyalty to Queen Mary and King William. The royals sought out the Campbells to punish their rivals, and the Campbells were happy to oblige. The Campbells gathered a group of their own family and hired some non-family members and set out to request hospitality from the MacDonalds, who granted it for two weeks. The Campbells and their hired men attacked the MacDonalds, killing children, women, and men in their beds one night as they slept. The few who escaped fled and most of them froze to death in the winter weather. This event has become known as the Massacre of Glencoe, and about 30 people died. It is said the Campbell clan is cursed to this day because of how they disrespected and misused the MacDonalds’ hospitality.
Not all revenge is so bloody, however, as Joan Crawford and Bette Davis show. All revenge seeks to get at the person perceived as being deserving, however, and the risk of somebody taking revenge, or retaliating can be used to try and have protection. A lot of people believe that getting revenge will make them feel better and make the person who wronged them sorry for what they did. Sometimes, though, revenge just makes people angry, and the person you got revenge on will go out of their way to get revenge on you. Some people call revenge justice. Some people say it is good, but others say it is very bad. Which is it? Another thing people disagree on is the difference between good and evil and you can read about that here: What’s the Difference Between Good and Evil?
Is Revenge Justice or Punishment?
“ If anyone injures his neighbor, as he has done it shall be done to him. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth; whatever injury he has given a person shall be given to him.” Leviticus 24: 19-20
Justice is defined as treatment that is fair and equitable. This is why some people feel revenge is justice. If somebody takes something from you, is it fair you should take it back, or take back what they took, and then take that much again from them? Which is justice? Is it satisfying to see somebody get their heart broken because they broke yours or is it justice to move on and heal? Can revenge stop at reparations, or is punishment the goal? Is punishment always justice and who gets to decide what punishment fits the crime? One Zodiac Sign known for seeking justice is Libra and you can read about them here: Libra Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
What is punishment anyways? Punishment is defined as consequences designed to enforce desirable behavior. Some say that if the threat of punishment is harsh enough, the undesirable behavior will likely not occur. Then, if revenge is to punish, then it is to make sure the offense does not happen again. So, revenge as punishment is designed to benefit the offender to make sure they learn better behavior, right? Not necessarily, especially if the one getting revenge is doing so to please themselves. One Zodiac Sign who is not to be crossed and could resort to revenge is Scorpio, and you can read about them here: Scorpio Traits | Star Sign in the Spotlight
The Case for Revenge
“ I don’t like to call it revenge…returning the favor sounds much nicer.”- iLikeitFunny.com
The people who believe in the value of revenge have their reasons for feeling this way. They say the person they get revenge on asked for it and deserves it. Some people do it so the person who hurt them knows what it feels like. Some people get revenge to get a feeling of satisfaction.
They Deserve It
A woman had relocated with a man she was engaged to, and various things he did led her to look for an apartment of her own. She tried to sit down and discuss the problems, telling him she was looking at apartments, and to get revenge, he kicked her out. He thought she deserved it, but did she? She took his reaction as a sign she had been right to look for a place of her own and they never saw each other again. In another situation, a woman was breaking up with her husband, and she stood right in front of him and broke his treasured owl collection just to upset him. Did he deserve that? When trying to do what people deserve, it is important to make sure the consequence fits the offense. Revenge can cause breakups too and you can read about best friend breakups here: Am I Having a Best Friend Breakup?
It Shows Them How It Feels
If somebody steals your lunch day after day, stealing their lunch another time will show them how that feels. If your sister breaks your favorite locket, breaking a piece of jewelry she loves will show her how it feels. Revenge is sought because of anger or hurt but then it is done to try and feel better. If somebody knows the pain of what they did to you, it won’t take your pain away, but it will make sure that they too, are suffering.
It Feels Satisfying
So many people say they hope they can see karma in action, or they say “God will get them” when they feel wronged. To see an offender suffer for suffering they have caused is satisfying for people simply because of a need to see people who cause harm suffer. Schadenfreude is a German term that means taking pleasure in seeing others suffer. Justice based schadenfreude means you take pleasure in seeing people suffer for wrongs they have caused, and it makes you feel like justice is served. Getting revenge can give that sense of satisfaction. Is there anything more satisfying than good food? Read about the magic of food here: The Magic of Food
The Case Against Revenge
“Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s just not worth the jail time.”-anonymous
Some people like Gandhi say that revenge is wrong. He said, “ An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” Some people believe seeking revenge keeps us from healing and ties us to the situation that hurt us. Some people say that instead of dwelling on things that hurt us, we should focus on our own healing. Other people say that revenge lowers us to the level of our offender and that it does not make the pain better. Some people say it creates even more pain.
It Lowers Us
Some people say that if you seek to harm somebody because they harmed you, that it makes you no better than that person. They say that it lowers you to that level and you become a part of the problem in the world. They say that instead of seeking to cause harm that you should seek to create love and understanding. They say to take the pain from what happened and let it teach you not to hurt other people.
The Pain Doesn’t Go Away
You might get an immediate sense of satisfaction seeing somebody suffer who has caused you to suffer, but that doesn't necessarily take away the pain. Sorting through emotional trauma or a sense of betrayal can take a very long time. Learning to trust again can be very difficult. Some people would point out that someone who hurt us didn't necessarily mean to, and if they did not mean to hurt us, then we should allow them the opportunity to make up for it instead of automatically hurting them back. Read about learning to trust again: Learn to Trust Again After Relationships
It Creates More Pain
Some people say that hurting someone who has hurt you simply creates more pain. Some people say that what the world needs is more people who love, care, and heal others. They say what we don't need is people who create more pain. Some people also believe that hurtful people have been hurt, and if we deliberately hurt them, it will make them worse people. Some people prefer to show kindness and compassion over creating revenge because they believe that there is a possibility that a hurtful person will be touched by this and learn to stop hurting other people. This is why some people are against revenge.
Some Things to Remember
When considering whether or not to get revenge, keep a few things in mind:
Revenge Can Make Things Worse
Wait until you calm down a little before you decide whether to get revenge or not. It is possible the person you hurt you is sorry and will make amends, but if you seek revenge, it will destroy your relationship. Acting in anger might make it difficult for you to control yourself and you may do something you regret. Some relationships don’t deserve to be saved, though. Read about whether breaking up is the right choice: Navigating Breaking Up with Your Soulmate
Revenge Can Make You Feel Better
If you have done all you can to get through to someone who hurt you and they just don’t care, you might seek closure. Canceling the telephone subscription you have kept up for somebody who you caught stealing money from you can make you feel like they are not using you for money anymore. Telling people your ex cheated and making them look bad on you can be an emotional release you need.
Revenge Doesn’t Always Teach
Revenge doesn’t always teach a lesson, however. Some people don’t care how they make each other feel and revenge won’t help. Seriously consider whether it is worth your time to invest the energy into getting revenge to begin with and seriously consider whether the one you want revenge on will learn a lesson.
What is The Best Revenge?
What the best revenge is depends on who you ask. Some people would say that watching someone go through the same thing they put you through is the ultimate revenge- especially when you are the one who makes sure they endure it. Then, there are people who say that the best revenge is seeing the person who hurt you suffer for the way they treat other people. Some people think the best revenge is having the person who hurt them completely at their mercy. Other people say that the best revenge is rising above what happened and living a successful life despite it all. Finally, some people say the best revenge is to get no revenge at all. What do you think?
Revenge might make you feel better, or it can make you feel worse when you get it. Some people say revenge is wrong, but other people say it’s a form of justice people who do bad things ask for. Getting revenge instead of moving on from a hurtful situation might feel good, but it keeps you tied to the situation longer. Some people don’t mind that, though, as long as they get even. May you never feel so hurt you consider revenge, but if you do, people better get out of your way!
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