Some people say the only thing constant is change, but sometimes that doesn’t seem fair. When everything seems perfect, and all the sudden a sweeping change flips your world upside down, it might seem like some deity or spirit is out to get you. Sometimes, though, change might be painful or even a little inconvenient at first, but in the end, the change is a good one that improves your life. It would be nice if we could endure only the changes we wanted to and avert any change we dislike, but that’s not how things work out. Change comes whether we want it, and change comes whether we feel ready or not.
Sometimes, change feels like it just isn’t coming, but we know we need it, and we roll up our sleeves and work for positive changes in our own lives. Maybe we want better health, a better romance, more education, or just to free up time to enjoy a hobby more. Positive change is something some people strive for in all they do, and some people just work for it occasionally. One thing is for sure though- no matter how often you seek positive changes, there are simple ways to make it happen. Read on to learn more.
When Change Hurts
“Growth hurts because change isn’t easy, that’s why they call it growing pains. “ –Tony Gaskins
We have all endured changes that hurt. Breakups and divorce, failing a school subject, being forced to relocate against our will, or watching our health decline when there is nothing that we can do to stop it are not changes that feel good. Even when somebody makes a decision on our behalf we disagree with, if it turns out to be beneficial, being told you have no control over what happens to you because of changes does not feel like a good thing. Not all changes feel good, and that’s not fun. Sometimes changes that hurt bring much needed growth, though. Like a seed is plunged into the earth before it sprouts, we can feel buried and in darkness during times of change.
What can you do when changes hurt? First, take a step back and assess a few things. Even if it’s not fun, is this change necessary? If you believe it is, that will make it a little bit easier to accept. If the change does not feel necessary, is there anything that you can do about it? If so, step in and take charge, but if you can’t do anything about this painful change, there is only one thing left to do. You will have to adapt to the changes.
Adapting to tough times probably isn’t at the top of the list of things you planned to do today, but if you can do this, you will be able to manage difficulties. If statistics are to be believed, being an adaptable individual will make you more successful in life, at least in your career. In an article by BBC Worklife, in a survey, 71% of executives said adaptability is the most important quality for a leader to have, and that you are 24% more likely to be employable if you are adaptable. The same article quoted Jacqueline Brassey, chief scientist at McKinsey & Company’s People & Organisational Performance Practice as saying “ Adaptability means you have gone beyond simply enduring a challenge to thriving beyond it.”How adaptability helps you ‘bounce forwards’ at work - BBC Worklife So when change hurts, adapt, hang in there, and don’t let a painful change stop you from thriving.
When Change Heals
“Healing comes when we choose to walk away from darkness, and move towards a brighter light.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Sometimes, change doesn’t hurt. It heals. When things have been difficult, and something happens that makes everything better, that kind of change is wonderful. Sometimes, though, the change won’t happen all on its own, and you have to make changes to create your own healing. To do this will take some honesty on your part. What can you do to create a change for the better? Sometimes, you are already doing everything that you can, and you are just going to have to keep doing it. Sometimes, you can do something different to create positive change. If you need to do something different, the first step is acknowledging that and deciding to make a change.
So, how do you create your own positive change for healing? It depends on the kind of healing you need and what you need to be healed from. If you are a child abuse survivor, despite what some people might say, sometimes the best change you can make so you can heal yourself is to cut off communication with your abuser. If you have physical issues, sometimes, changing doctors if yours is not helping so that you can get answers is the change you need to find healing. If what you are eating is causing issues, eating something else instead can heal you. Sometimes changing your attitude is the only thing you need in order to heal.
Sometimes we are lucky, and healing comes all on its own, or somebody else is kind enough to heal us. Sometimes, though, we have to find a way to heal ourselves. When you discover that you have the power to heal yourself, and all you have to do is change, take a leap of faith. Heal yourself by making the changes you need to. You might have a transition period and have a difficult time unlearning habits while you learn new ones, but it is worth it. When you can make a change that creates healing, do it!
When Change is Necessary
“Change your choices. Change your life.” – Darren Hardy
Let’s say you are quite content with the way things are, and all the sudden, change is required, and you don’t like that one bit. How do you move forward with creating a positive change when it is necessary, as opposed to a change you feel like making? It all depends on the type of change that needs to be made. If it is a change in your mind, that’s pretty simple. If it is a physical change that needs to be made, however, that can take a lot more planning and work. Then if the change that is required includes other people, it can be even more complicated.
Changing Your Mind
When all you need is to change your thinking or attitude, there is a very simple way you can do that. Say you want to stop thinking about an ex-lover who broke your heart, and instead, you want to focus on spending more time with family and friends while you heal emotionally. You may have tried to just stop thinking of them, but sometimes, when you least expect it, something reminds you of them, and you start feeling hurt all over again. You could always succumb, and dissolve into tears, but there comes a time when you grow tired of feeling that way, and you want to put the pain out of your mind. How can you do that?
When you think of your ex, immediately remind yourself of what was wrong in the relationship and how much better off you are without them. Then, redirect your thinking to whatever else it is you prefer to think about. This simple exercise works no matter what mental changes you want to make. If you have come to believe that you cannot reach a goal, simply tell yourself, “I am going to do the best I can” instead of telling yourself you cannot achieve it. If you want to start doing better in your studies, devote more time to them than the other things you have been thinking about. You might struggle at first, but the more you try to focus on whatever new way of thinking you want to embrace, the easier it will get.
Physical Changes
Physical changes start with mental changes, and then you have to change what you do. For example, if you want to move to a different city, you will first have to decide you are going to do it, and then do the physical things that it requires like getting a new job, finding a new place to live, packing, and then physically doing the move. Physical changes sometimes require a lot of time and patience, and you might get tired of working for the change to become complete, but if you really want this change, all the effort is worth it. You might have to set long term goals, and take your time to achieve them, but that’s okay. Take all the time you need to plan this change and be prepared to get to work on it. If you really want this change, do what you know it takes, and make it happen.
Changes that Include Others
Changing your own mind and making changes in your own life takes a lot of work, but when other people are included in these changes, sometimes, it is even more difficult. Not everybody wants the changes, and you might find yourself trying to talk people into making what you feel are positive changes and what they feel are unnecessary changes. If you are hit with resistance from the other people who this change will affect, the first thing you should do is sit down and listen to their concerns. They may have a viewpoint you had not considered. Even if you decide to move forward with the changes anyways, the fact you cared enough to listen to how they felt will make a lot of difference to the people who are impacted by the changes.
Next, get everybody involved in whatever planning and processes will make the changes happen. When people feel listened to and involved, their enthusiasm for changes that feel difficult will be better and they might even be more helpful than you had expected. Communicate openly with everybody who is involved so nobody is shocked by anything that happens, and everybody knows what to expect. If you get everybody involved in making the changes happen, it will be a team effort instead of something people feel is happening to them against their will. They will be more willing to help do some of the work too, so it won’t be as difficult for you if your team is helping.
When Change Won’t Come
“Patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Joyce Meyer
Is there anything worse than feeling stuck in a bad situation? Maybe it feels worse to feel stuck in a situation you feel you have grown past. What if you are waiting for a promotion at work, and it seems like it’s never happening, and you now dread going to work? What if you want to finish a project that feels like it is taking forever and that you have grown to hate? When change seems to take too long there is just one thing you can do. Decide whether it is worth it to keep trying or not. If you are adventurous, you will try a lot of new things but that doesn’t mean you have to do those things for the rest of your life. Not everything you begin is worth your time when things don’t progress in a satisfying way.
What about when you have decided that something is worth working for, and you won’t be satisfied until you have accomplished it, but it is taking longer than you want it to? You are just going to have to be patient and keep trying. Anything worth dreaming about doing is worth waiting for, after all. If things are not moving along as quickly as you had hoped they would, first ask yourself if you are trying to rush the process and if you are, take a deep breath, and be patient. If you don’t feel that you are rushing things, ask yourself if there is something you can do to get better results. Sometimes, we learn while we are doing something, and if the way we are doing things is not working, changing how we do them can get better results.
Feeling stuck at a place in your life where you don’t want to be can make you feel trapped and sometimes, that is terrifying. Sometimes, though, we are right where we need to be, and we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing. Part of life is learning, and we can’t always learn truths if we are only doing what we want to. There are so many experiences in life we will all have, and some of those are uncomfortable experiences. Sometimes, the most uncomfortable experiences prompt us to make the most positive changes and move into a better life. Anytime you feel stuck, and need a change that feels like it won’t come, pay extra attention to see what you can learn from that uncomfortable situation.
Change is Constant
“Life is change. It is creation revealing itself. “- Belief.net
Change is always happening, and it is important to accept that. If you fight change, you probably won’t succeed, and things will move forward without you. Being left behind while life moves forward is something you don’t want so if you accept that things are changing around you all the time, you can commit to change as well. Change is necessary and change can be the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember that Charles Darwin once said “It’s not the strongest of the species that survives, or the most intelligent. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” Be the one who is most adaptable to change.
Change Is Worth It
Why is change worth it, especially when you feel happy about the way things already are? Change creates growth. If we never grow, we will never know our full potential and we won’t have a chance for life to get better. Personal transformation is something you will be working on for your entire life. Today, you may feel like an entirely different person than you did yesterday, and tomorrow will bring you opportunities to change and grow even more. What are some of the best ways to create positive change?
1) Commit to change regularly. If everything stays the same, there won’t be room for growth and personal development. Think of all the things you have learned over the years and how you have changed for the better as a result. You are still evolving, and life is still happening. Be open to regular change and commit to making it happen.
2) Find out what it takes to make change happen. The first step is obviously to commit to making change happen, but the next step is finding out how. Then do all you can to the best of your ability to follow the steps you have learned are critical to success and ask for help if you need it.
3) Hang in there when things become uncomfortable. Change isn’t always fun, and it isn’t always easy. It can feel very uncomfortable, and it can hurt sometimes. Change can cut us right down to our soul, and completely tear us down. When this happens, know that you are about to be built right back up, and things will be better than ever when the change is complete.
4) Commit to change permanently. When you make a change, commit to change for good. If you stop doing the new things you did to create the change, things will go back to the way they were before. If it is worth it to take the time to make a change to begin with, it is worth it to stay focused on maintaining the change permanently.
5) Give yourself credit. Most especially when you are going through a difficult change, take a step back and look at how much progress you have already made. You might not see a lot of progress, but if you think about it, you can see that you have put a lot of work into creating positive changes. You can be proud of yourself for all you have done to be proactive in improving things. Keep up the good work.
6) Maintain changes and look for more ways to improve. Now that you have done everything to make the positive change happen, maintain those changes. Take it a step further, though. Look for more ways to improve and create even more positive changes. Acknowledging that nothing is ever perfect will help you to be objective enough to look for more ways to make things even better. Give yourself a break when you need it, and celebrate your successes, but then keep looking forward to creating new changes for a better future.
We can’t control everything that happens, but we can control our reaction. If we adapt when things change, we are able to move forward with things better than if we fight changes that we cannot control. Creating positive changes in your life or even just accepting changes you are not responsible for will make a better life and changes help you to create a better version of yourself. Change can hurt, but it’s worth it. May all the changes in your life be good ones. So Be It.
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